Even during my time as an executive in Germany, I was always dealing with new business partners. As an entrepreneur with a startup in Florida, I came into contact with new acquaintances even more frequently.
I think in the last few years I have developed quite a good feeling for body language. I would like to pass on my best tips to you.
1. Eye contact
Direct eye contact not only signals open-mindedness, but also that you are confident and not hiding. With open and friendly eye contact, especially when shaking hands and introducing yourself, you express personal interest to the other person and thus appear more likeable.
People who avoid eye contact, on the other hand, appear disinterested or insecure, or even give the impression that they have something to hide.
2. Smile
The best partner of constant eye contact is the smile. However, this should be open and sincere. A false smile can be recognized very quickly by the fact that the eyes do not laugh along and the “laugh lines” are missing.
Exaggerated facial expressions and a false smile quickly appear dishonest and put-on. In general, facial expressions should be used in a way that emphasizes what is being said.
3. Posture
Make sure that your posture is straight. This begins with a firm stance, weight evenly distributed on both feet. Shoulders should not drop too far forward, nor should they be pulled back too extremely.
Shoulders that are forward convey insecurity and put a lot of weight on the shoulders.If you pull your shoulders back too far, your head will automatically lift, which in turn can exude arrogance.
Let your shoulders and arms fall loosely. This will also allow you to gesture in an unconstrained manner.
4. Handshake
A handshake is usually the first social interaction between two people. This moment usually lasts about three seconds. These few seconds can make or break a person’s impact tremendously.
Make sure your hands are not pointing up or down when you shake hands. Upward facing palms signal inferiority, while downward facing palms signal dominance.
When shaking hands, one thing is particularly important: it should be neither too lax nor too firm. A handshake that is too loose immediately arouses unconscious negative emotions in the other person, such as weakness of character, laziness or lack of self-confidence. Especially the firm handshake of women is perceived as very positive.
It is not for nothing that we say that someone can “grip” when we have the impression that this person can go to work energetically.
5. Voice
The voice is part of our personal business card and a decisive factor for a positive first impression. Emphasis and breathing already trigger sympathies or antipathies.
The so-called psychorespiratory effect causes us to try to imitate the other person when listening. This means that we automatically breathe faster when the speaker is nervous and talking fast. Likewise, we anticipate an approaching throat clearing if the speaker has an unbearable creak in his voice.
A deep voice and a pleasant, moderate speaking tempo, on the other hand, have a calming, more pleasant and more sympathetic effect, while high, shrill or even bleepy voices come across as incompetent.
Another important aspect of the voice is the melody of speech. Only those who vary their speech tone will convince their listeners.
By the way, you can best train the variation of your tone of voice with children: Why not read a fairy tale to your child (godchild, grandchild)? Or attend courses, for example at adult education centers: There, you can often find speech training courses for little money, or even amateur acting courses where you can practice speaking.